This site is dedicated to everything that can be disagreed about. There are appropriate swear words and graphic descriptions so PLEASE, keep your children off this site. In fact, don't let your kids look at anything with a screen.

Friday, September 09, 2005

The Plumber Gets an Exclusive Interview With President Bush

Last night I got one of the most shocking phone calls of my life. President Bush called up The Plumber to do an exclusive interview for the Mental Masturbator. Here is a transcript of the interview,

(phone rings)

plumber: Who are you and what do you want?!

Prez: Is this Mr. Plumber?

plumber: I ask the questions, you answer. Do your part or get the hell off my phone.

Prez: This is President Bush and I want to give Mr. Plumber an exclusive interview.

plumber: Oh, sorry Mr. President.

Prez: I heard that you received a couple of letters from the DNC and Moveon.org and I wanted to respond.

plumber: All right. Yeah, I got the donation pleas, I have them right here. It says here in the Moveon letter that they are "readying plans to hold the Bush Administration to account for its failures in preventing and then responding to this disaster..." and Dean's DNC letter sure doesn't waste any time kicking you in the cajones...hoo, hoo. The Moveon folks are actually more lenient on you than the DNC.

Prez: Don't believe it. I just saw satellite photos of a couple of hippies helping George Soros into a lycra suit. Our inside guy says that Soros fancies himself a super-hero. He calls himself "The Hungry Hungarian". Scott called him...heh, heh..."The Harebrained Hungarian". I almost blew a gasket laughing so hard. When our man described them hippies draggin' his fat ass all over his compound, well...heh, heh...that did it, I barely made it to the bathroom...heh, heh, heh.

plumber: Yeah, that is pretty funny...hoo, hoo

Prez: Listen bud, I just want to let you know that we did everything we could to stop that hurricane. We grabbed up everybody we could, we even got Dean and Byrd to come down before that hurricane hit.

plumber: Did you say "before"?

Prez: Yeah, we thought that if we had enough folks on the coast, we could blow that hurricane back out t'sea. But we had some troubles 'long the way. We was headed down the levee to the coast and the driver noticed that the levee was gonna collapse. We thought we were done for until Dick came up with great idea. Well the Dems didn't like it and they put up quite a fight, but when the Secret Service pulled out the heat, that sure shut their yaps...heh,heh. Well, we threw ol' Clinton and Byrd... boy, that old dude sure put up a fight... we threw them over the side...you know... to shore up the levee. I had my doubts, but goddamned if it didn't work! I owe Dick a steak.

plumber: So you were able to make it to the coast?

Prez: Oh yeah. And we got lined up, Dems on one side and us on the other. Well we blew and blew and blew. Ol' Dick was trying so hard we almost lost him. He had to drop out after about 15 minutes. Well, now we're down three guys so the rest of us had to pick it up. Dick had another idea...that guy's a brain I'll tell you what. Lynn wheeled him down to Dean. The next thing I know, Howard's a screamin' and cussin' like I never heard. I had to cover up mamma's ears. Anyway, all that hot air seems to have intensified the hurricane; but the wind coming from Howard was enough to avoid a direct hit. We sure lucked out.

plumber: What the hell did Cheney say?

Prez: Heh, heh...He told him that his mamma was a Libertarian...heh,heh.

plumber: Hoo, hoo...that's good! Is that why he goes after you in the letter?

Prez: Yeah. That and we put him in one of those two-wheel dolly's. You know, with the cage, like in that Hopkins movie.

plumber: Silence of the Lambs.

Prez: Yeah, yeah, that's it.

plumber: What happened to Byrd and Clinton?

Prez: Well that's an amazing story. Apparently they had enough air to hold their breath till we were able to git back 'cross the levee safely. Some of the fella's hooked a rope around 'em and we yanked 'em out with the SUV. Shortly after that the levee collapsed.

plumber: Do you feel any responsibility for allowing the levee to collapse?

Prez: Hell no. That section of levee was build during the Clinton Administration. 'Sides, we didn't force Bill and Bob to come out. Listen, I just wanted to make it clear that we did everything we could to stop that hurricane. Don't believe Dean.

plumber: OK. Thanks for the call Mr. President.

Prez: You bet bud.

15 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:02 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:05 AM

 
Blogger The Plumber said...

I've been getting advertisments in my comment section. Does this happen to anybody else?

11:59 AM

 
Blogger ctindel said...

Yes, that happens. It's called comment spam. People use it to shore-up their google page rank.

Sometimes requiring a blogger login helps. Are your from anonymous posters?

1:47 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tha' shit is FUNNY dawg!

12:46 PM

 
Blogger The Plumber said...

Anon, Thanks for stopping by.

Yeah, they're anonymous. I don't care for logins though. Heck, if I didn't allow it, you would be the only one to visit my site.

7:46 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:08 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:13 PM

 
Blogger bob said...

using the word thingy keeps that stuff from happening.
You better submit this to Carnival of Comedy, guy. I got the show this week.

1:58 PM

 
Blogger bob said...

Here's the link:

10:35 PM

 
Blogger The Plumber said...

Hey, I got it right! Thanks Bob. I put it in the "politics" sub-heading.

7:21 AM

 
Blogger "Alice" said...

That was pretty good plumber.

Go over to the blogger dashboard, and look below where you would get on to post a blog, there is a write-up about "Unwanted Comments", click on word verification, and go ahead and get the code, it doesn't keep people out, only the spammers 'cause they tend to be computer generated.

See ya.

12:12 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Plumber, there's a new option for submitting comments that requires typing in of a graphically depicted word--it should reduce or eliminate such comment spam. See http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=1203&topic=23 or go ask "Alice." (I've seen your comments on Fort Collins Insider and Seth Dilday's blog, am a Libertarian myself, and hope to establish my own blogs soon.)

6:24 AM

 
Blogger The Plumber said...

I'm going to wait. I had a rash of them in the days following this post but none since. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Thanks for stopping by.

9:20 AM

 
Anonymous building contractor said...

How do I get information for building contractor... Some people believe that to create is great but build is like changing the past forever... If you want to create a beautiful home Visit building contractor and you can see what a little change can create..

1:26 AM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home