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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Running Afoul: Anti-tobacco Nazi's vs. Liberty

I really didn't know what I was going to do with this story. I even wrote and re-wrote the title for this post three times; and though I'm still not happy with it, it's about as good as it gets. Such is life with the limited vocabulary of a plumber. Don't be fooled! I know no words with more than two syllables. My thesaurus and dictionary are always close at hand. But I digress.

Now this story from the Ft. Collins (CO) Coloradoan (that's right, not Coloradan), pits ever-benevolent nannies against the ever-malevolent individual. Apparently a couple of evil businessmen have been allowing young adults to smoke tobacco, at "their" tobacco store. This is in violation of the pro-health-at-any-cost city ordinance which criminalizes what those prone to evil do on the premises of "their" property.

Sure, we could allow business "owners" the liberty to choose whether or not to allow the evil tobacco leaf to be consumed on "their" property. Sure, we could have allowed "their" employees the liberty to choose whether or not they want to work in a place where the evil tobacco leaf is consumed. And sure, we could have allowed the mass of consumers the liberty to choose whether or not to frequent an establishment which allows the evil tobacco leaf to be consumed. But who would we "save" in this case? Nobody, that's who! Besides, all these choices, and the liberty to pick one of them, are too confusing for the average citizen (Oops! Can I say "citizen"? I mean "subject"). Thank goodness we have the moral clarity of the mob...I mean, the majority...to help individual subjects make these difficult decisions.

Liberty must be abolished if there is the chance that irresponsible and unaccountable people will be hurt, or even die, by there own actions. There is a line, no thicker or permanent than a stream of smoke from an idle cigarette, which separates the liberty of these evil merchants of death and the mass murderers of Nazi Germany. This line disappears with the strike of a match.

The fact that they smoke tobacco through a hookah only confirms their fascist leanings. How? Well, the hookah is mostly associated with the Middle East. And who comes from the Middle East? That's right, Islamofascists. In fact, these merchants of death even decorated their torture chamber with a Middle Eastern "feel".

Yea, let this proclamation be heard throughout the city: Extremism, in defense of health, is no vice! Liberty, if it causes one person to be held into account for their own actions, is no virtue!

Hat tip: Ft. Collins Insider

14 Comments:

Blogger JCHess said...

Irony or hypocrisy? At the moment I don't know. First The Coloradoan celebrates what amounts to a drug den with a front page article, now it condemns a private business following allowing customers (paying customers, are they?) to use their products on their premises.

Once more The Coloradoan demonstrates why it is not and cannot be taken seriously as a source of news, that is, relevant fact and truth.

However, I suspect that if a tax were imposed on business such as this one, a tax that favored the partisan politics of The Coloradoan they would celebrate and champion said business for this particular practice.

9:11 AM

 
Blogger JCHess said...

That should be 'for allowing' not 'following allowing'. I was distracted by a lack of caffine in my system just now.

9:12 AM

 
Blogger The Plumber said...

I just don't get the Coloradoan (literally and figuratively).

Their local news is often trite and simplistic. Their national news not only comes from biased sources, but is heavily edited. International news is almost non-existent.

I know what to expect every time I read it, but every time I still end up being pissed off.

I don't know if tax revenue is more important to them than the nanny-state.

1:18 PM

 
Blogger JCHess said...

A wish for the New Year: A community-oriented newspaper that IS community oriented and inclusive, instead of something else and exclusive.

6:00 PM

 
Blogger Mike's America said...

Hookas? We used to call them BONGS!

Well not to worry... I am sure that once Colorado adopts Islamic Sharia law, such establishments will be legal. But of course they will not permit women to enter.

8:40 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

plumber,

your a dick!

12:15 AM

 
Blogger The Plumber said...

anon,

the contraction of "you are" is "you're".

"your" is a possessive pronoun.

11:40 AM

 
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