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Friday, February 24, 2006

Dear Plumber,

I was going to post on the Crunchy Cons (conservative hippies) today, but I got a letter last night from a friend who was asking for some advice from someone smart, but not so much that they'd lost their common-sense. Naturally, my friend thought of me.

It seemed important and relevant, so I thought I'd share it with my gentle readers. Here is what the letter said (to protect the innocent, I' ll only use initials):

Dear Plumber,

I've got a family problem. You see, I've got this friend...well, he's kinda a friend...anyway, I told him that he could watch my dogs for me while I went on vacation. When I told my wife and kids that my friend, UAE, would be watching the dogs while we were on vacation, they went ballistic!

The problem isn't necessarily with UAE, but with some of his family. His family hates my dogs. If fact, his family not only plots to kill as many of our dogs as possible (puppies and adults), but were even so lucky as to kill 3,000 in one day!

Well, after that day, we decided as a family that we were going to kill those who would kill our dogs. We have been very careful not to go to war with all of UAE's family, just those allied to his second-cousin, OBL. Trouble is, his family is so large that it is impossible to know which members want to kill our dogs.

Another problem is that UAE isn't exactly the most careful person in the world, and when OBL runs short on funds, UAE always gives him a hefty check. UAE and OBL even go golfing twice a month!

My buddies say it's no big deal if I give UAE the keys to the house. They tell me my wife and kids are hysterical. They say it'll be an insult to UAE if I renege now.

My wife and kids say they'll never forgive me, and that their view of me will be forever altered if I give UAE the keys.

Plumber, what should I do?!

Your friend, GWB

This was my reply,

GWB,

Your friend goes golfing twice a month with the man who killed 3,000 of your dogs!? Are you out of your friggin' mind!?

You gotta live with your wife and kids, but if you give UAE the keys, you'll wish that you lived with your buddies.

1 Comments:

Blogger Netai Biswas said...

This area is for all general Plumbing
related questions and answers

3:34 AM

 

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